The Announcement

There is finally a good reason for my absence...

I'm pregnant! I hit 12 weeks today and have seen our baby six times (silver lining of recurrent pregnancy loss?) and felt ready to share our exciting news. I'm still anxious that something could go wrong, but I'm trying to stay positive and just trust that I will carry this baby to term. I'm not going to lie though...it is hard. Please pray, cross your fingers, sprinkle fairy dust, or whatever strikes your fancy that this is it!

Weekend Getaway

Last weekend we went down to the city for an overnight getaway. I bought tickets to the Rangers game because neither of us had ever been to Madison Square Garden and I thought it would be a fun little trip. It was an awesome game and the Rangers ended up scoring a bunch of times in the 3rd period to win the game.


The next morning we grabbed crepes and warm drinks from the mini stores in Bryant Park and had breakfast right in the middle of the city. It was a crisp, but beautiful morning.


I tried Nutella for the first time! OMG I can't believe I have been missing out for so long. I immediately bought a jar when we returned home.

We stopped at Woodbury Commons on the way home and we both picked up a few new things for our wardrobes. Definitely a great weekend!

The Bar

We've been so busy this week that I haven't had a chance to share the good news with everyone. AJ passed the bar! I am so proud of him and also so relieved that we don't have to deal with a high stakes exam ever again.

We had a bunch of things going on this week, and they all turned into celebrations. Everything was so fun!

Champagne the day we found out...


Jeff Dunham with one of our friends on Thursday...


Dinner and a hockey game with a group of friends on Friday night...


A dinner/dance with my family last night...


Today we had lunch with my family, then came home and watched football all afternoon. It was SO necessary to just relax after being out almost every night this week!

A Big Blue Wall and New Bathroom!

We had another successful weekend with home improvement projects. This weekend we painted the accent wall in our living room/hallway and did a makeover in our master bath!

When we first bought our house, the living room accent wall was bright green. I wanted to change it because I didn't like the color. Because it was so bright, I also wanted to do something more neutral. When we went to the paint store, I picked out a beige-gray color, but when we put it on the wall, it actually looked more pinkish-purple than neutral at all. I pretty much hated it as soon as we painted it. I thought it might grow on me, but it never did. AJ also felt that our whole house was too beige, so we decided to do something bold and paint the wall blue.

Here are the two previous colors...

And the new blue color....

It is very blue, but I think it goes well with our furniture and decor. Now I need to add some wall art in the living room. Any ideas on what to do?

We also put in a new master bath vanity set. Our sink was way too small and we needed more storage. We plan to re-use the mirror and vanity in another bathroom, but that is a project for another day. Here is the before...


And here is after...


I love, love, love the new set and think it really makes the master bath more sophisticated. I am so proud of my husband for doing this all on his own! He is becoming so handy. I need to patch the holes left by the bolts that were holding the old mirror and touch up the paint in a few places, but our bathroom is pretty much done!

The kitchen is coming along...

The last two weekends have been productive on the house project front. We painted our kitchen one weekend and bought a new table and chairs this past weekend. We still need to paint the pantry white, do a few touch ups on the walls, and figure out our wall art situation, but it is finally starting to come together.

The colors are a tad off because I took these pictures at dusk, but you get the idea. What do you think? I am liking the white cabinets with the dark wood table and light wood floors. AJ wants to eventually upgrade the countertops and get a stainless dishwasher, but those just aren't in the budget right now. I think for now, it all works.

And yes, there are dirty dishes in the sink and our stove is filthy. But hey, that's life!

I'm fine. Really!

A few people have asked me how I am doing, so I figured I'd share with everyone.

Last month was hard. TTC + hormones + fear of failure + plus fear of success and then failure = me being crazy and dramatic

However, once I found out I wasn't pregnant (well maybe the next day), I felt like my old self again. The last couple days have been fun. We've been out with friends every night this week and AJ and I have reverted back to our normal selves. We are having fun, being silly and enjoying each other's company. That doesn't mean I don't want a baby anymore, or that I am not sad at times, but just that the whole mood in our house has changed.

I'm really wondering if the hormones are a big part of why I was feeling so nuts. I wanted to cry almost every day (and did most days....including in my boss's office) and just felt like crap in general. I am supposed to take them three times a day a few days after I ovulate, which means I am constantly thinking about getting pregnant/having a baby during that two week wait. I am wondering if I waited until the end of the two weeks to begin taking them, if it would help my sanity. I am supposed to take them to help me stay pregnant if I am pregnant, but would skipping the first two weeks really make that huge of a difference? (Perhaps even less than two weeks, since we all know I will probably start testing sooner than test day...and if I test positive I will obviously take them.) If I can't sustain a pregnancy during weeks 3 and 4, then I am guessing there is bigger issue than something that can be treated with progesterone. Thoughts?

I am also supposed to take baby aspirin once a day, which I will continue to do, since that is much less intrusive and is supposed to help with implantation.

I guess I should talk to my doctor about all of this.

Anyway, that is how I am feeling these days!

P.S. I appologize that all I blog about recently is getting pregnant and everything that surrounds it, but hey....that's my life right now. Oh and I hope you like TMI!

The Little Things

Hi Mrs. Mxxxx! You have beautiful blue eyes!

Said with great enthusiasm this afternoon, by a 1st grader with autism.

It seriously made my day.

One year ago

One year ago I had my first miscarriage. It feels like it was just yesterday, but then looking back on all that has happened in the last year....it feels like it happened so long ago. The more that I think about it, it definitely feels like forever ago.

I'm not really sure how I feel today. It's kind of a blah feeling. Like, this sucks. I lost my first baby a year ago and I still don't have one. I'm a little sad, angry, and jealous too....but mostly just blah. I haven't cried, but I feel like I could if I let myself wallow. I don't want to though. I want to stop being so damn negative.

So in honor of my baby, I will lift my head up and smile because that's what I need on this day. A little happiness.

You can't always bat 1000

That's what my husband said to me this morning. I wanted to smack him.

I got pregnant last August on our first try. I got pregnant on accident in April because we were careless. (We weren't supposed to be trying before the bar, and even though we knew I was ovulating, we just didn't care. I thought... What the hell? What's the worst that could happen? Ohhh naive self. You were so fun.)

I didn't think I would get pregnant either time. But I did. And neither pregnancy ended well. So, now I am a basket case.

This was the first month we started trying again and today was the official test day. Even though I knew this morning's test would probably be negative since every test I took over the last four days was negative (what? you don't do that too?), I was crushed when I saw it.

But, AJ is right...you can't always bat 1000.

Fall Fun

Happy Monday! Isn't Monday so much better when it is a holiday?

We had beautiful weather here in Upstate this weekend. Despite the unseasonably warm temperatures, it still looks like fall up here. I took some pretty pictures of the leaves because they are just starting to change. We also took a trip to the local pumpkin place and picked up pumpkins, mums, cider, and donuts. I decorated the house, including the mantle. It's a little heavy on the orange, but this way I can leave it up through November. I just need to switch out the witch with something Thanksgiving themed. Shouldn't be too hard for this decorating novice.





It was a really great weekend! I am feeling refreshed and ready for the week ahead. Hope you are feeling the same way!